Breast Milk Breath: Youtube Needs Quality Control

Four Steps To Improving Youtube Tutorials

I spent a big ol’ wad of time this week learning Adobe After Effects CS4. The program is not for the meek.

As a hardcore Cubase user for years and years I have a certain idea in my head how things should operate. Obviously, Cubase and After Effects do totally different things. However, the manipulation of time based media is similar. At least it’s more similar than ice cream and uranium.

The bottom line is I needed help. Okay, I need A TON of help getting started with After Effects CS4! So I started on Youtube. I began on one one of my “I love the internet speeches” to an audience consisting of Panzer, my canine partner in crime. I hadn’t been this excited about the web since I found out that a cinder block weight 42.5 lbs.

To my amazement, I discovered that the Care Bears movie had let out and a stampede of kids  ran to the computers to be the first to make an After Effects Tutorial and put it on Youtube.   I have nothing against kids. I hate them.  I want to smash in most of the rotten little bastards, but I don’t have anything against them.

As cool as it is to actually see a kid taking the initiative to  make a tutorial about a complicated topic like After Effects, it’s not funny to me watch a kid shoot at the wrong goal when my business is at stake.   To put it simply, kids are dumb. That’s why they are called kids. That’s why (back in my day) we just rode bikes and waited for our peckers and brains to grow. Doogie Howser did all really difficult stuff for us.

It seems that it’s simply impossible to create an effective tutorial when your breath still wreaks of your momma’s boobie milk.

Solutions

Create Youthtube.com

The training wheels addition of Youtube.

Parents Could Try Being Honest

Being positive is great. However, it would sure make my day if dad actually watched the damn thing before saying, “That’s GREAT, junior!”.

Youtube Could Rethink Their Search Engine

Yeah, you heard me. You’d think the makers of the most sophisticated search engine on the planet (Google) could find a way to highlight the best videos.

Youtube Age Flagging

Our favorite video site could implement a simple questionnaire. For example, “Would you rather beat a woman with a hammer or a spoon?”. If they don’t answer, “Both”, they clearly aren’t grown up enough to provide any value to the world yet. They’ll come around.

Related posts:

  1. After Effects Introduction / Getting Started Videos I found these videos to be exceptional for getting started...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.